The Identity Crisis of a Salesman

When people hear the word salesman, most don’t picture a trusted advisor. They picture the clichés: the used car lot, the fake smile, the pressure tactics. If you say you’re “in sales,” you can almost see people bracing themselves.

And let’s be fair—sales has largely earned this reputation. Even today, too many sales trainers and “gurus” push techniques that sound more like manipulation than service. Tricks like scripted closes, false urgency, and even intentionally lowering a customer’s sense of importance are still being taught. It might close a deal in the short term, but it leaves customers wary, resentful, and even hostile to the very word sales.

That’s the crisis: the industry can’t decide if salesmen should be hustlers or helpers. And every one of us has to choose which side we’re on.

What Sales Can Be

Here’s the truth—being a salesman doesn’t mean you’re a liar, a manipulator, or a con artist. At its best, sales is one of the most honest professions out there.

• Honest: Sometimes that means telling a client they don’t need the thing everyone else is trying to sell them.

• Helpful: You’re there to solve real problems, not create imaginary ones.

• Full of Integrity: Because a commission check is short-term; a reputation is forever.

• Empathetic: Listening sells better than any rehearsed script ever will.

I’ve seen it firsthand. One of my clients, Ms. Mary, had contractors try to scare her into thousands of dollars in unnecessary work. Instead of piling on, I downsold her. I told her what she truly needed, left out what she didn’t, and earned her trust.

Today, she’s not just a client—she’s a friend. We talk about her grandkids and my kids. She even gave me her late sister’s piano books because she knows I play. And here’s the kicker: from a sales perspective, she’s invested over $300,000 with me in just two years.

Not because I had the slickest pitch. Not because I pressured her. But because I was different from what she was used to.

The Vision Forward

This is what sales can be when it’s done right: not a hustle, not a manipulation, but a career built on peace of mind—for both you and the client.

For the client, peace of mind means they don’t feel tricked or pressured. They know they’re making the best decision for their home, family, or business. For the salesman, peace of mind means you can go to bed at night knowing you were honest, you were fair, and you built something that will last longer than one transaction.

That’s the identity shift we need in this industry. Less “ABC—Always Be Closing,” and more “ABC—Always Build Credibility.”

Because at the end of the day, the best salesman isn’t the one with the fastest tongue. It’s the one with the cleanest conscience.

I’ve spent years proving that you can sell well without selling your soul. In fact, it’s the core message of my book The Honest Close. If you’ve ever felt caught between what your boss teaches and what your gut knows is right, then you already understand the salesman’s identity crisis.

The good news? You don’t have to play the villain. You can be the trusted guide—the one clients call back, recommend, and even befriend. That’s the future of sales.